Vancouver heartache,

I miss Vancouver.
This time of year it folds in on itself like a soggy Chinese food takeout box, and I love it.
You can truly hide behind a mug of tea there for the whole winter.
No striving through the whipping cold wind.
No echoing windshield scrape sounds at five am.

Toronto is my home now -- I know that.
I stil watch Canucks games once in a while, and when they are in the playoffs, but really I am phoning it in.
I still feel Vancouver on the inside, but I am plated in Toronto.

I miss sitting in the spitting molecular rain on a bench at Kits beach not needing anything.
I miss the pigeon gray skies holding out for days.
I miss the relentless ocean.

I haven't been there for more than a year,
I used to go every few months.
I am a visitor there now in many ways.
In other, more important ways, I am never away from it.