enter if you dare, ladies...

find out what's really in that so-called-non-toxic lip balm you like so much, or in that makeup you know is probably bad for you already...

xo.h

Schmermy.

Schmermy is how I feel today because I went in to the doctor for three things -- nasty pain in my left lady-ball,  a mole that is suddenly sticky-outy and dark instead of flat and light, and a mysterious lump in my right thigh. 

I went in there like -- "period cramps, hormonal mole changes and a zit!" not wanting to think about the potential stress associated with having to check these things for something more serious, but my doctor quickly burst that bubble. The ovary is getting ultrasounded, the mole is getting a biopsy and the lump is on probation, which means I have to watch it to make sure it gets no bigger, or they will be taking that out and sending it for biopsy, too. 

All of this is happening at the same time that my uncle is perhaps in his last days after a long struggle with cancer all through his body, and my grandpa just had to have a lump in his tongue taken out and checked. So there's a lot of C-word floating around and I am trying my best to stay calm about these three things going on with my body and keep in mind that it is probably just a coincidence that they are all happening at the same time, that it's probably ovarian cysts (which I have a history of), just a mole that is changing as I age (common) and a benign cyst in my leg. Probably these things are true -- I have very little cancer in my blood family, and I am young and have pretty much none of the risk factors. Still, things do happen. Anyway -- all of it has really made me think about how much we need to enjoy every day and show love to those around us, because we never know when we are going to go. So many things have happened for me so far this year that have driven that point home. Stuff about my uncle. A friend, an amazing woman, younger than me, with a beautiful husband and baby boy, was killed in a car accident in December and her husband and son have to go on without her. I have been trying so hard to stay in the present moment and really enjoy life and try not to stress about anything because I want to know that at the end, I'll feel like I really made the most of my time here with the people I love. 

xo.h

Records I Want - March 2009

I suddenly am obsessed with buying new music.

Here are the records I want right now, as in today...

Neko Case - Middle Tornado

Final Fantasy - Plays to Please EP

Jenn Grant - Echoes

Julie Doiron - Woke Myself Up (and she has a new one coming out this month!)

All Canadian Music! My Ipod is probably about 80% Canadian music, actually. I truly think that our country produces the best music in the world!

xo.h

What the Hell Took Me So Long?

I have been on the natural health bandwagon for, oh, about ten years, so what the hell took me so long to decide to find myself a naturopath instead of going to my MD for things that I know he is either just going to give me a) unnecessary antibiotics, b) steroid cream or c) a fruitless xray/ultrasound for? I have a few health issues -- anemia, eczema, ovarian cysts and TMJ (and thus, migraines.) None of these things have been successfully treated with my MD. Kai has eczema now, too, so I figured it was time to try another route, and since Adam now has benefits that cover it, we were able to drop the cash upfront to see a naturopath and get some tests done.

After being there I can say that even if we did not have coverage, I would find a way to take this route alone for most health issues that could ever come up, and it in conjunction with conventional treatments for anything that would be life-threatening, etc (in situations, for instance, where the naturopath themselves suggest both types of treatment, ie. chemotherapy in conjunction with dietary changes and supplements to support health through the chemo.) 

Anyway, this is where I am going, and Dr. Alison is awesome. I had already cut out gluten for Kai and I, and our eczema had gone from a 4/5 to a 1/5 within two weeks, it was still there, though, which meant there was even more crazy stuff going on inside, so she did a complete food allergy panel. This means you get tested for allergy to almost 100 foods, the most common allergens, and then you can know what to cut out to get rid of all manner of health problems. The naturopath said that whatever I am allergic to, so might he be, so I alone was able to take the test for now, which is great because it was $395.00 (thank God, covered by insurance), but again, worth every penny in my mind. I am sure that if we all bought steroid cream for the rest of our lives it would add up to much more than that, and we would be much less happy and healthy than we will be just cutting out the foods that are sending our immune systems in a tailspin.

So in just two weeks I will have a huge list of foods that tells me how allergic I am to all of them! It's like nerdy Christmas morning! The list is like a bar chart that tells you if you are a little, quite a bit, a lot or mega allergic to something. I am a little nervous that soy is going to be on there, and a lot nervous that nuts will be. We will see. 

On another geeky health front, I have to get braces for two years to fix my crossbite that is making it so the sharp parts of my top teeth are destroying the concave parts of my bottom teeth, leading to broken and cavity ridden lower molars, and broken fillings. These are not covered by insurance, unfortunately, but sometimes you have to take a hit in life in order to be better in the long run. I had braces before that were put on by an ortho who I am pretty sure was crazy and I eventually took them off early because they kept falling apart, hurting me, etc. They fixed some things, but now I have to finish the job. Luckily ten years have done some good things for the ugliness of braces -- they are pretty tiny and not elastic-y now. :) Anyway yes, I am going to have braces on until I am 32. Wicked. 

xo.h

Biological Dog.

Lately I have been having to fight off my biological clock with a stick in order to focus on completing this album. In reality, I don't want to have another kid until Kai is old enough to help change diapers, but my body doesn't seem to be getting that. My hormones haven't even been nice enough to keep my fertility away while I am nursing, which I still am at 22 months. Nope, my uterus, at SIX WEEKS, was like, "well, you've got two boobs, so let's flip this joint and rent it out again!" It doesn't help that my husband is down with the idea of another baby, and that Kai has taken to feeding and cuddling my sister's old baby doll after a round of teaching her to "walk"across the living room floor.

Enter my desire for a dog. I have it all planned out. I want to get a male Great Dane and name him Hamlet. Thinking about this dog is what is getting my mind off little pink bundles of "I-can't-lift-my-head-on-my-own" utter dependence. The dog is probably quite far off in the future as well, but it is harder to acquire the dog than the baby, at least in theory, so I am thinking about the dog. Instead of the baby. Baby. BABYYYYYY!!!! Who would maybe be a girl and named Maezi. I mean, DOG! Hamlet! Big smelly dog.

Baby.

xo.h

This is It.

The nerdiest and best thing ever. 

I Don't Care if the Whole World Knows It.

I freaking love Valentine's Day.

I think Valentine's Day is for me what Hallowe'en is to other people.

I love the paper-y-ness of it. The chocolate-y-ness of it. The sweetness of it.

I have spent many a Valentine's Day alone in the past, and I even loved it then.

One really great thing for me this year is that I am back in Vancouver where Valentine's Day falls at a time of year where the trees are starting to bud, the birds are coming back and the temperature stays well above zero. This is the Valentine's Day weather I grew up with -- I never quite got used to the whole snowy Valentine's day thing in Toronto. I get that there is the potential for romance with that scenario, too, but I love the promise of spring that is in the air at this time of year here out West. 

Here is a recipe for some delicious beegan love elixir truffles for the healthy chocoholic in your life.

To taste, mush together about 2 parts raw almond butter (about 1/2 cup), 2 parts organic, fair trade, dutch process cocoa powder (about 1/2 cup)  with one part raw, hard honey or agave nectar  (about 1/4 cup -- less if you have less of a sweet tooth) and a tiny pinch of sea salt. (Discussion on why I, for the time being, am eating raw, local, i've-seen-where-it's-made-honey to happen another time -- sorry fellow vegans, I hope you still love me anyway -- I guess this makes me a beegan for now.) This should make a very thick fudge type thing. Taste and adjust however you like. Add more firm stuff if the agave nectar makes things too runny -- I make it with hard honey, so you're pioneering here. This is less of a recipe and more of a thing. Anyway, the stuff should be able to be formed into balls. Get it? Valentine's Day? Balls? Um, anyway.

Put this in the fridge, covered for an hour.

After the hour, in a double boiler or a metal bowl placed on top of a pot with a few inches of boiling (then lowered to a simmer) water in it, melt about 100 grams of organic, fair trade dark chocolate (I like Cocoa Camino bittersweet). Use a rubber spatula to swirl it around until it is silky and melted. Get NO water in it, or it will seize and look like crap.

Put this aside, and pull out your fudge. Using a teaspoon, scoop out and roll little balls with cold hands. Roll these little balls in the chocolate, and put your rolled truffle on some parchment or wax paper on a cookie sheet or plate.

Make a bunch of truffles.

Sprinkle the tops of them with some raw cane sugar or crushed, toasted almonds.

Put back in the fridge until they are as firm as your lovers' arms.

Happy Valentines Day, bitches.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo.h